Allied Atheist Alliance: A Word About the Defense of Parenting

6.29.2009

A Word About the Defense of Parenting

Anyone who is a parent understands the instant anger and defensive mindset that comes from having an outside force question your parenting. There is no assertion regarding atheists which angers me more than this - atheists are bad parents.

Let's address first the fact that most of what can be said regarding atheist parentage can also be said of religious parentage. The religious says that atheists will brainwash their kids to reject god, damning them to eventually burn in hell. Atheists can say that the religious will brainwash their kids to be closed off to anything outside of their religion, damning them to a lifetime of slavery to an unquestioned and unsubstantiated doctrine. It continues back and forth, you can fill in the rest.

The arguments that may seem only applicable to atheists are equally matched by arguments only applicable to the religious. The point being that this fashion of argument is equatable to a ideological pissing match between groups who are being defensive and exclusionary - as any parent is when their ability is in question.

Take the statement - "atheists are bad parents" and replace the word atheist with any other group of people and see how ugly of a statement that is. No matter what group you apply that comment to, it's a horrible judgment to make on an entire group of people.

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Sabio · 823 weeks ago

It is always tough raising your kids counter to the culture about them. You'd find your atheist family more comfortable in Europe, I'd imagine.

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1 reply · active 823 weeks ago

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pinko_commie 65p · 823 weeks ago

Interestingly enough, the social sphere I come into contact with that is opposed to my atheist lifestyle is really only online. I live in a progressive area of the united states which, while undoubtedly still being religious in majority, is extremely respectful of diversity. I'm lucky to be able to avoid being treated badly by simply turning off my computer and going outside. :D

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Sabio · 823 weeks ago

You are indeed fortunate -- we have had otherwise great friends of our kids stop socializing once they found out. This has happened several times.

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1 reply · active 823 weeks ago

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pinko_commie 65p · 823 weeks ago

That happened to me a few times when I was a kid and I grew up in the same area as I live now, so I think I can attest to a general change of attitude around here which is really heartening. However, I experienced a pretty intense amount of rejection when I lived in Corpus Christi, TX so I know it's hard for a lot of people in other places.

I went through the same thing as a kid as your kids did and it wasn't a good feeling, but I never felt like I was in the wrong in the situation either. I hope your kids feel similar to their treatment - it's unfortunate when indoctrination (of any kind) gets in the way of people being able to connect with one another.

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john_poson26 93p · 822 weeks ago

Good post, Aadvertisinglies. Seattle has truly become a progressive city in recent years; however, it hasn’t always been this way. Growing up as an atheist here in the 60’s and 70’s was quite a challenge. In the neighborhood I was raised in, the first two questions someone would ask you were; your name, and which Church you went too.

I haven’t changed much in the last 40 years, and as you have probably noticed by now; I don’t take too kindly of their delusional ignorance. Needless to say, I had a lot of “fun” times as a kid.

Based on my own experiences here in Seattle, I decided not to raise my own children here. That decision wasn’t totally because of the religious negativity I found towards atheism; it was in part because, I just didn’t want the same ignorant Christians who had made it a point, to constantly be in my business, also being in my kid’s business, as well. And the town we found about 80 miles from Seattle, worked out just fine. In fact, two of my closest friends, did the same after they had children. One of them for much the same reasons as I did.

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2 replies · active 822 weeks ago

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pinko_commie 65p · 822 weeks ago

I actually live about 40 miles south of the city myself, but when I lived in the city (in the U district, admittedly - is that no longer considered part of the city now? I'm out of the hipster-loop) I can attest to the fact that I didn't experience any anti-atheist sentiment. It becomes a lot more complicated when you have kids, that's for sure. I can't say what raising kids in the city is like first hand since I lived there when I was younger, single, and child free but it is really surprising to me that you had these kinds of experiences only 30 years ago. I'm glad the climate (I'm told from atheist friends with kids who live in the city) has changed somewhat for parents as well as my experiences with Seattle being very accepting of single atheists.

Not to say that Seattle is the pinnacle of acceptance - make a joke about wearing fur or eating meat in the wrong place and you'll have the vegan militia on your ass in no time flat.

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john_poson26 93p · 822 weeks ago

I grew up in the central district of Seattle, in a mostly black neighborhood; with a Church on almost every street corner. By the time I entered school in the 60’s M.L. King was doing his thing in the south, and racial tension was at a boiling point here as well. And the Church had become the focal point of the civil rights movement, (it was like, for some of us black people, equal right, and Jesus, had become one in the same). And in me being a half-black mix race atheist; that alienated me from most black and white folks as well. In fact at age 12, besides my dad, I only knew of one other atheist besides us.

Believe me, things in general have changed here in Seattle as they have elsewhere, and even somewhat in the south as well. But even now in 2009, there are still some ignorant Christians here in Seattle who seem to have IQ’s in single digits, and who feel they have a right to fuck with atheist, I know this first hand!

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