Iran Says Yay To Elvis Hair, Boo To Puppy Love

Well, at least Iran is being a bit less sexist with its ridiculously controlling and restrictive rules regarding the legality of self image and self expression. I understand that banning the mullet is more for the benefit of society in general, but it seems like basically all punk hairstyles are forbidden - which I'm sure makes punks across America giggle with a special kind of punk satisfaction.

(July 6) -- Worried that Western ideas might be seeping into -- and onto -- the heads of their nation's young men, Iran's religious leaders have issued a catalog of acceptable "Islamic" male haircuts. Ponytails, spikes, mullets and Mohawks are now forbidden, but Elvis-style locks, floppy fringes and Simon Cowell-esque flattops get the ayatollahs' seal of approval. The entire selection of state-sanctioned styles will be revealed later this month at Tehran's Modesty and Veil Festival, whose organizers -- with help from Iran's Ministry of Culture and Islamic Guidance -- designed the hair guide. "The proposed styles are inspired by Iranians' complexion, culture, religion and Islamic law," Jaleh Khodayar, the fair's female organizer, told Agence France-Presse. "We are happy that the Islamic republic of Iran's government has backed us in designing these hairstyles."

I love how the author of this story specifies that the organizer is female as if that means anything. No one is impressed by the progressiveness of Iran having a female organizer for an event that is in part meant to forbid specific hairstyles for an entire gender.

Although Iranian authorities have long attempted to enforce a strict female dress code -- women who wear their headscarves too far back or flash some ankle risk being arrested -- this is the first time that authorities have clearly set out what is and isn't follicly allowed for men. Previously, that judgment was left up to police, who would arrest boys with hairstyles inspired by European soccer players or American pop stars, and subject them to a swift short back and sides. Barbers who offered decadent Western cuts and male eyebrow plucking also risked being raided and shut down.

First of all, eyebrow plucking for either gender is painful enough - the punishment is already built into the practice. Second, isn't it kind of a testimate to the frailty of a belief if it requires controlling the practice of metrosexuality in order to maintain it?

But well-groomed men aren't the only group facing increased scrutiny this summer. The growing number of wealthy Iranians who keep dogs -- viewed as "unclean" by the mullahs -- could also face a crackdown. Last month, a senior Shiite cleric placed a fatwa on the pets and called for such displays of hound-human companionship to be outlawed. "Friendship with dogs is a blind imitation of the West," said Grand Ayatollah Naser Makerem Shirazi, according to Reuters. "There are lots of people in the West who love their dogs more than their wives and children."

Well that is about the stupidest shit I've ever heard. The insinuation that allowing people to have certain pets will somehow negatively affect a person's relationship with their human family is steaming grade-a BS. But I can see how the Iranian Ayatollahs might find the human-puppy bond intimidating. Once people experience unconditional love, the 'love' of jealous, petty Allah might not seem so enticing...

No Tolerance For Theocracies

I was raised to regard people different from myself with a pretty healthy dose of tolerance. There are a lot of things that other people do, a lot of beliefs that other people have, a lot of traditions that other people take part in that I think are stupid, pointless, and/or even disturbing to a degree. I don't have to like anything...but tolerance is important. Why? Because I'd like the same treatment.

Golden rule and all that.

Tolerance of another culture is just as important as tolerance of an individual in my opinion. Yeah, I really dislike the music my neighbors play during the day and I also think it's kind of weird that they see no issues with buying food from one another off of homemade hand pulled carts. It's weird to me because it isn't me. I'm not going to go out and start buying food off their cart or jamming out to their tunes, but I have no issues tolerating their culture because they tolerate mine. Tolerance, not necessarily acceptance, is key in any modern society where cultures mix so frequently.

However, I believe there is a point where tolerance of behavior is unacceptable. If a culture, for example, had a tradition where they took their youngest child and beat him or her publicly on a certain day of the year, I don't think I would be wrong to report that person to the police, even though they are engaging in a cultural tradition. Even if the culture that engaged in child beating kept the tradition within their own country, I don't think it would be intolerant to speak out against that kind of behavior. Even if some of the kids who were beaten insisted that they were completely happy with the arrangement, I would still speak out against it and I don't think that I could rationally be considered intolerant.

That's why I don't think it's intolerant to say that the more I hear about the Islamic laws and how they're being enforced in places like Iran, the more I feel like that country is fucking crazy pants.

I bring this up because Iran, the country who brought you 'female immodesty causes extramarital sex which causes earthquakes', has said that women who suntan will now be arrested in order to maintain the Islamic dress code.

Juuust let that sink in a minute.

Yeah, my head kind of exploded too. Now, from the article:

Brig Hossien Sajedinia, Tehran's police chief, said a national crackdown on opposition sympathisers would be extended to women who have been deemed to be violating the spirit of Islamic laws. He said: "The public expects us to act firmly and swiftly if we see any social misbehaviour by women, and men, who defy our Islamic values. In some areas of north Tehran we can see many suntanned women and young girls who look like walking mannequins.

"We are not going to tolerate this situation and will first warn those found in this manner and then arrest and imprison them."

Iran's Islamic leadership has in recent weeks launched a scaremongering campaign to persuade the population that vice is sweeping the streets of the capital. National law stipulates that women wear headscarves and shape shrouding cloaks but many women, particularly in the capital, spend heavily on fashions that barely adhere to the regulations.

I don't think it's intolerant to say that this is wrong. The subjugation of women is wrong, whether it's religiously motivated or not. For those Americans who continue to claim that our country is somehow a Christian nation - take a good look at what a theocracy looks like. Tits cause earthquakes and suntans are illegal. Is this really the example you want America to follow?