Showing posts with label Seventh Day Adventists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seventh Day Adventists. Show all posts

6.13.2010

Your Relatives Aren't Watching Over You - Satan Is

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Oh those wacky Seventh Day Adventists.

We have a lot of those particular believers in this area, or at least they're the most active with their door to door proselytizing. Today a couple of upstanding youths came to the door and B-rad answered and was surprisingly polite. They kind of took him by surprise I think and they didn't stay to chat. I always delight in taking a look at the literature they without fail leave behind and once again, I am simply floored by the insanity that is being passed off as logical explanations of common phenomena.

The first hand out was pretty neutral - come to this nine day religious camp, Christian music, vegan cookie classes, blah blah blah. The smaller pamphlet that came with the hand out, however, was amazing.

The pamphlet is titled "Dead Men Don't Talk" which naturally excited me since I expected it to be largely concerning pirates. I was disappointed, however, to read that it was just about how if you think you hear your dead loved ones talking to you, it isn't really them.

Oh. OK, well, that's not as rad as pirates, but I agree - I don't think dead people can chat it up with the living. I mean, it's impossible to prove for sure an- what? Say again? So, it's not your dead relatives talking to you from beyond the grave - it's "deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons." (1 Timothy 4:1)

Silly me, and I thought we were taking the fucking logical position for a minute.

That shit is crazy. Isn't that seriously crazy? That people think that when you feel lost or afraid or tired or lonely or whatever and you hear a loved one who passed on talking to you in your head, maybe making you feel a little better, that you ought to assume it's Satan trying to invade your brain with his deceptive fallen angel army of evil.

Well of course. I mean really, why not? Once you've dedicated yourself to believing that there is for sure some god that not only created us but wants us to worship it, you might as well believe that the imagined consolation of your dead loved ones is actually Satan trying to deceive you.

And the pamphlet continues, yadda yadda yadda, give us money - the end.

Typical.

9.10.2009

Let's Ask Adventists Some Challenging Questions, Please?

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I dropped my little baby boy off this morning for his first day of school and after recovering from the feeling of my heart bursting at the fact that my little man is growing up fast, I decided to walk over to the Goodwill to look for something that might work as a Halloween costume for me or Brad for the wedding I'm helping plan for my friend Melissa. I got to the store a bit too early so I wandered over to the row of metal and plastic houses for all the free apartment guides and little nickels and lo and behold, I found a Seventh Day Adventist publication. The theme for this issue is: The Treachery of the CULTS.

Coincidentally, I bought my irony meter because it goes up to 11.

This is 64 pages worth of insight into this religion that I plan to read, but the part of the magazine that bothers me already is the very back. It's a 'Your Bible Questions' section but the questions being posed are ridiculously simplistic and accommodating. Nothing challenging whatsoever:
Q. What does it mean to blaspheme the Holy Lord?

Q. If we are under grace, why must we still keep the law?

Q. What would have happened if Eve had not been tempted?

Q. When God Said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness" who else was He talking about?

Q. Does a person have to observe the Sabbath on Saturday to be a true Christian and thus be given eternal life?

Q. Is fasting a church requirement, or is it for individual needs?

Q. What is the Abyss?
Come on guys, we can come up with better questions than that. I plan on mailing a few questions in myself and I encourage you all to do the same. Let me know what your questions are too, I'd like to see what others think is a worthy question for people who are literal worsipers of the bible.
Send questions to:

Your Bible Questions
c/o Signs of the Times
PO Box 5398
Nampa, ID 83653-5398